When I was growing up and maturing into an adult (you know, the kind that still plays with cars), I found a great deal of enjoyment in a primetime television show that aired in the late 1980’s known as “MacGyver”. It told the ongoing tale of a top agent that worked for a private corporation and, for reasons never really given a reasonable foundation in the shows storyline, he was tasked with travelling the globe righting various injustices that he probably wouldn’t have even known about had he nailed down a regular desk job like the rest of us. Nonetheless, MacGyver, or Angus as he is known by his legions of super fans, was gifted with a superior intellect and a mind that was packed from lobe to lobe with a master’s degree level of mechanical ingenuity. Every episode featured our unlikely hero getting into sticky predicaments, only to work his way back out of them with some awesome display of his mastery of science, physics and possibly even dabbling in dark magic – like escaping a prison by freezing the cell door hinge pins with liquid nitrogen that he harvested from an antique camphene lamp and then struck with a fossilized yaks jawbone until they crumbled. Did I mention that MacGyver drove a Jeep? Well, he did. The show was not always believable but it did always manage to leave me with a positive outlook on things; an outlook that is summed up by a simple quote from one of his shows; a quote that is likely the root influence behind his wild success in his oddly imaginary career path – “Any problem can be solved with a little ingenuity” to which I will add ‘and maybe some duct tape’. Did I mention that MacGyver drove a Jeep?
With that same vein of inventive thinking, Jeep owners have adapted and overcome problems for the larger part of a century. When things don’t necessarily go their way, they put on the old thinking cap and come up with a viable solution. An action we might refer to as the “MacGyver Principle”.
In the throes of battle in World War II was an ideal location to find the “MacGyver Principle” hard at work. When a GI was dealt the misfortune of a flat tire on his trusty MB, when only the lack of a bumper jack could possibly make things worse, he would just transform that handful of smile-happy privates into a make-shift hydraulic lift and he would be back on the road and on his merry way in record time! When things get really hairy and ones well-being is in grave jeopardy, a little bit of ingenuity can go a long way towards helping you keep your head. Like when Axis troops began the practice of running strands of nearly-invisible high strength steel wire across battlefield roadways, about shoulder high, it was obvious that something needed to be done and in quick fashion. The solution devised by inventive Allied soldiers became known affectionately as the “Anti-Decapitation Device”- a straight section of angular steel bar mounted in an upright position off the front bumper; capable of severing any trap wires that it may come in contact with, which likely reduced the number of single car accidents at the same time. Certainly a pair of fine examples of somebody using their head with all the swagger you’d expect from the “MacGyver Principle”.
With a wartime adversary as cunning and cruel as to try and separate your head from the rest of your body, you can’t underestimate the ever presence of real danger and do everything within your powers to be ready for it. Enter another clear exhibition of the “MacGyver Principle” applied to our devoted Jeep- an extension to the vehicles exhaust system that permitted the injection of a tear gas agent into the exhaust flow, allowing it to be dispersed into the air along the Jeeps path as it travelled hostile territories. While this may have equated to the 1940’s equivalent of putting itching powder in your buddies sock drawer, anything that provided even a slight advantage over the enemy was highly encouraged. I’m pretty certain MacGyver would have licked his finger and held it skyward, checking for a crosswind before deploying the nasty gas. Or maybe he could have fashioned a crude soft top and frame assembly from some nearby tree limbs and discarded military issue duffel bags to help protect the passengers from the nauseous fumes. After all, he was MacGyver.
While the number of times that such ingenuity was exercised during the war could very well be immeasurable, the times it has reached the limits of reasonable prudence are more well-defined. Take, for example, the Hafner Rotabuggy. This was the kind of vehicle that MacGyver would have saved for the season finale in a clever scheme to secure the largest primetime audience imaginable! It seemed to be the mechanical equivalent of an accident well-overdue to happen. Concocted by the British Air Ministry as a possible solution to the ongoing dilemma of dropping Jeeps into a war zone, this contraption was based off a standard issue Willys MB that had undergone some devilish laboratory experiment where the tail end of an otherwise airworthy craft was welded to the rear of a car that was accustomed to falling from the sky, slowed only by a parachute and good old wind resistance. Let’s just say that Angus MacGyver would have had a real chore trying to enlist the help of a sexy co-star for this episode, seeing as the prospect of falling from the sky is not as popular as it once was, especially among those with a will to live. To further reinforce the brand of peril involved with flying such a machine, the Rotabuggy required the usual Jeep driver as well as a second passenger to man the “joystick” controller- a job that reportedly required the pilot to engage in a vigorous battle with the controls as they violently shook and battered about in an attempt to defy control and return to its grounded roots. Supposedly the only effective use of the Rotabuggy in battle would be if they could manage to crash the copter, with exacting precision, onto the unsuspecting heads of enemy troops, which seemed unlikely in and of itself. To add insult to what already seems to be fatal injuries, the Rotabuggy was not even capable of taking off on its own, but rather had to be dragged into flight, kicking and screaming the whole way, behind a larger aircraft…not a crowning achievement and, despite having many of the right ingredients, NOT at all the “MacGyver Principle”. It would however make for better viewing than “Dynasty”.
I’m confident there is more than enough evidence to support the premise of a MacGyver remake, one where a modern mechanical marvel takes to the open road, in a well-outfitted Jeep of course, to render support by means of his patented “MacGyver Principle”, to those who are not as well-equipped to handle life’s puzzling plights. It would be a refreshing alternative to the usual reality-based programming that pretends to pass as entertainment today and one I would likely try and watch in my abundance of free time. A strong surge in duct tape sales could be just what our economy needs right now anyway. OlllllllO