“Half Safe” but Completely Crazy

“Crazy” is, without a doubt, one of the most complex words in the English language. While its meaning is somewhat consistent, I find that its use as a compliment or as a condemnation is often only determined by whether or not there is a smile on the face of the person that is calling you crazy. So it is possible to be crazy but in a good way, right?

More often than not, a person who is described as crazy has set themselves apart from society by abstaining from normal accepted behavior. Meet Frederick ‘Ben’ Carlin- born in Western Australia in 1912 and who, on more than one occasion, has established himself as one of the craziest adventurers to have ever left the paved roads behind. The fact that he chose to pursue his preposterous dreams in a crazy contraption based on a WWII Ford GPA “Seep” makes him more of a hero, in my opinion, than a loon but you can be the judge.

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As an engineer in the Indian Army Corp of Engineers in World War II, Carlin observed an amphibious GPA vehicle while doing a routine inspection and commented to a fellow coworker that the vehicle would be a viable candidate to successfully circumnavigate the globe in. The intense laughter that erupted after his brash statement only reinforced his determination to prove that it could be done.

At the close of the Second World War, Carlin was able to acquire a surplus GPA for a measly $901 at auction and the process of adapting, modifying and equipping the chassis for such a monumental trek began. The body was extended by several feet to accommodate a larger fuel tank as well as an enclosed cabin scabbed on to the boat-like body. Much like Noah building the ark, Carlin was labelled as a buffoon- several sandwiches short of a picnic basket. Even his attempts to secure a sponsorship from Ford Motor Company, the manufacturer of the GPA, were met with skepticism and negativity. Ford seemed convinced that only a crazy person would take their amphibious vehicle into such treacherous waters.

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Actually, only two crazy people would. Carlin enlisted the help of his wife Elinore to accompany him on his ill-advised adventure. By the spring of 1948, the couple was seemingly ready to set sail in a vehicle that, by all appearances, was not fit to float, much less sail, across the ocean. It was aptly given the name Half Safe – a tongue-in-cheek reference taken from a deodorant advertisement that joked about the risks involved with wearing a lesser brand of under-arm protection. Somehow treading water in the middle of the shark-infested waters of the Atlantic Ocean seemed as comical a notion to Ben Carlin.

As with most innovators and pioneers, success was not found on the first attempt nor, for that matter, the second or third one. A handful of attempts in 1948 were plagued by mechanical failures of near-catastrophic proportions, including an exhaust system breakdown that had the confined cabin of the Half Safe vessel filling with lethal carbon monoxide gases, causing the trip to be quickly aborted and the boat returned to shore for repairs; each failure bringing more delays and exhausting more funds.

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Finally, on July 19th of 1950, Carlin and his trusting bride set out from Halifax, Nova Scotia with enough food, fuel and provisions on board to tide them over for a little over 30 days. While the Fords fuel tank had been modified to increase the capacity to 200 gallons, Carlin had to transport extra containers of fuel ; keeping them secured to a towline that was being drug behind the vehicle while at sea. Any time a refueling was needed, the anchor was dropped to interrupt forward progress and the floating reserve tanks would be reeled up next to the boat so that fuel could be siphoned into the primary tanks. This process proved to be challenging, exhausting and dangerous as the likelihood of the heavy tanks battering the thin metal hull of the vessel threatened to bring the entire trip to a sinking, gurgling halt. Nonetheless, Carlin persevered and eventually arrived at the choppy shores of the Azores Islands. From there, the trip carried them northward on wheels into Europe, where cabin temperatures often climbed above 150 degrees without the coolness of the seas waters to tame the heat. This forced the duo to perform most of their driving at night when conditions were considerably less harsh.

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Well into the second half of the journey, Elinore became convinced that this expedition might indeed be her last; overcome with exhaustion, sea sickness and oddly rational thoughts, she chose to abandon the mission as well as her husband while in Carlin’s homeland of Australia, while the pair was on a fund-raising tour in 1956.

Ben Carlin pressed onward, accompanied by anyone who could be convinced that this was a sane scheme. At first, a fellow Australian joined him for a period of 5 months before he was replaced by an American writer who worked for a Japanese newspaper. The journalist stayed with Carlin from early 1957 until Half Safe rolled into Anchorage, Alaska in late 1957. The writer profiled many of his Half Safe experiences in a book entitled, “Once a Fool: From Tokyo to Alaska by Amphibious Jeep”. If doing this for 6 months makes you a fool, what might 8 years make you? Certainly too tired to write a book with such a catchy title.

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In all, Carlin’s incredible journey took a total of 7 years and 10 months to complete, arriving in Montreal in May 1958, unbelievably having covered 38,987 miles over land and another 11,000 at sea. While Carlin had dreamed that this impossible venture crossing 38 countries would bring him untold riches and unrivaled popularity, the truth is that his accomplishment did more to ruin him both financially and romantically than it did to improve his position. The fact that his tale is rarely even told only adds to the misfortune. Fortunately, the Half Safe was acquired by Carlin’s childhood grammar school where it is displayed proudly for anyone who can forego their perceptions of what is truly attainable long enough to believe what you can do when you set your mind to it. To this day, no one else has managed to circumnavigate the world in one single vehicle. I can’t imagine anyone even trying…you’d have to be crazy.   OlllllllO2106b4ca367891a36776fcdb10f2edd9

First a Jeep, Then a Truck

It seems like forever and a day that we have been waiting for the new Jeep Wrangler JL to rid itself of the character- disguising camo and expose the Jeep faithful to what has been hiding beneath. Honestly, it’s like trying to pick out your prom date when all the girls are wrapped in tarps. We’ve been baited along with the promise of the new Wrangler JL model and then diabolically teased of a truck to be built on the same platform and delivered to us in the year to follow. It’s hard to digest that this wait may finally be winding up.  

Photo Credit: JL Wrangler Forums

Photo Credit: JL Wrangler Forums

  You may ask “Why all the fuss?”. It’s not like we haven’t been treated to a Jeep truck before and you would have a valid point. I believe the upcoming Wrangler JT pickup will be different though. In the past, Jeep has offered quite a few trucks in their lineup, each one special in their own distinct ways but, for the most part, they were always trucks first and Jeeps secondly.

What I mean by that is, with the exception of the 81-86 CJ-8 Scramblers, Jeep trucks have always segregated themselves from the true Jeep four-wheel drive, short wheelbase off-roader that embodies all of the elements that define the Jeep name. The CJ-8 was essentially a CJ-7 lengthened with a small truck bed in the back; a feature that more than made up for in looks what it might have lacked in practicality.

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The very first origins in the evolution of the Jeep truck would date all the way back to 1946, when Willys-Overland offered a Jeep pickup that shared its exterior countenance with the Willys Station wagons of the day. The high hood, flat-topped fenders and buglike headlights gave indication that the two were loosely related but yet independent at the core.

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One progression of the Jeep truck is the ultra-unique FCs, or Forward Control trucks. Introduced in the mid-50’s, the FC-150 defied easy explanation. With it’s odd cab-over-engine design and “big rig”styling, the FC models are usually presumed to be anything but a Jeep. The forward control models are highly sought by collectors due to their bizarre appearance and a distinctly wonderful driving experience . With a monstrous steering wheel that sits horizontal in front of you and no hood in front of the windshield, it’s hard to not feel like you’re wheeling a semi down the interstate trying to get a load up to Dubuque by sundown. It’s even harder to hide the smile the FC puts on your face.

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One of the most underated and least seen of the Jeep trucks are the Gladiator and J-Series models that were manufactured for an astounding quarter century, beginning in 1963. While other truck manufacturers toyed with rather swank styling cues that felt need to change every few years, Kaiser-Jeep found a solid and simple design that stood the test of time; making the J-Series truck almost instantly identifiable regardless of it’s vintage.

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I think what I like most about the Gladiator and J-Series trucks is that, in all their simplicity, they just look tough. I would go so far as to say that if Chuck Norris was going into battle in a new big screen blockbuster, maybe Missing In Action 9, he could very easily drive one of these. The Kaiser M715 is, in fact, the military version of the Gladiator and it literally looks like it’s coming to save the world and lay under tread anyone who tries to stop it. It’s so excessively packed with unbridled masculinity, it might even cause Chuck Norris to second-guess his level of adequate manliness to man the controls. No vanity mirrors on the back of sunvisors, if even so equipped; just brawn under the hood and bulges on the bedsides. A seriously hard act to follow.

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But follow Jeep did…with the CJ-8 Scrambler in 1981. For the first time, traditional Jeep owners were given their beloved Jeep fitted with the added utility of a short truck bed on a wheelbase 10-inches longer than the CJ-7, to boot. While such an offering did not evolve the new CJ into a formidable cargo hauler, it did undoubtedly help solidy the Jeep CJ’s overall position as America’s favorite off-road vehicle and tested the waters for what interest might exist for another Jeep truck.

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In 1986, Jeep delivered to market a brand new pickup based on the wildly succesful Cherokee XJ utility wagon. The Jeep Comance (MJ) was built using the same mechanical componenets, drivetrain and exterior styling as the Cherokee but with the choice of either a 6 or 7 foot truck bed. The truck was failry well accepted in the marketplace but always had a clearly defined persona separate from it’s close kin, the CJ/ Wrangler. After seven years of production, Chrysler determined that the truck building was best left to its Dodge division, so the Comanche slowly faded into the background; making way for its reinvention under the name Dodge Dakota, with no considerable fanfaire.

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The world would have to wait an antagonizing long 25 years and counting for a new pickup from Jeep. And from all visually-hindered appearances it might be one that’s really worth waiting for. Besides, we do actually get a brand new Wrangler to tide us over, in the meantime. But really, who are we kidding? OlllllllO

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Tips for Tackling that ‘Road Less-Travelled’

1Over the past decade of daily-driving a Jeep as my primary means of transportation, a few simple truths have become evident to me. First of all and simply put, Jeeps are cars for people who truly cherish driving. Even in stock form, Jeeps are fairly crude, utilitarian vehicles that are made to go just about anywhere you desire; therefore, their mannerisms when they are on the paved roadways are always a little less-than-perfect. This attribute, although unforgivable to some, suits me perfectly.

Secondly, Jeeps have made giant strides in proving that they may quite possibly be one of the worst commuter vehicles ever. While this seems somewhat harsh, the truth is that, while the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, Jeeps don’t seem to be engineered using the same basic principles of geometry. Basically, if it should take 1 hour to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’, a Jeep will normally take anywhere from 10 to 50% longer to arrive than the calculated average. A Jeep driver tends to strictly abide by the age-old adage “Goin’ around your @$$ to get to your elbow”, accessing point ‘B’ via point ‘M’ or possibly even point lowercase ‘k’. While the science to support this principle has not been totally documented, it is true that fuel economy of the average Jeep owner is 10 to 50% lower than other vehicles on the road. Ironic? You decide.

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Thirdly, and this may surprise some of you like it did me- not ALL Jeep owners take their rugged rides off-road. While this was hard for me to digest at first, I came to realize that it makes total sense. For comparisons sake, everybody with a set of clubs in the trunk doesn’t necessarily know how to play golf well, if at all. I’m reminded of a lady who used to sing in the church choir when I was a young pre-teen. Despite the silky robe and the open songbook in her hands, she had no trace of any ability to sing. Unfortunately, this was a truth that was unknown to her and one that never kept her from engaging in blaring solos capable of frightening infants and startling the elderly. Unlike a tone-deaf soprano, a Jeep owner who has never experienced the joys of driving off-road is perfectly poised to make it happen. They already have all the capability they will need to make it happen at their disposal. The hard part is done.

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While the thought of venturing off-road in a brand-spanking new Wrangler JK is harrowing to many, the truth is that the Jeep was made to be taken off-road- they’re given that ‘Trail Rated’ badge on the fender for a reason. To keep it confined to pavement is depriving it of its purpose. Your inalienable right to take your Jeep out for a day filled with uncharted adventure is inherent with Jeep ownership and, with any luck, a thorough carwash will make it seem like it never even happened. I personally suggest you drive around with the mud decorations for at least a few days. It’s sort of a Jeepers badge of honor. Wear it proudly!

So, how do you get started with finding that road less travelled and making sure it’s one that suits your vehicle, your own individual skill and confidence level? I recommend anyone who drives a Jeep involve themselves in a local Jeepers club in their particular area. You can find many varieties of them on Facebook, as well as other social media venues, and they can prove to be a valuable source of information and support. The Jeep community is a strong network of people who share very similar interests although they come from a diverse range of backgrounds. I have gone “wheeling” with complete strangers on numerous occasions and have retained continuing friendships from each and every one of those interactions. You will more than likely find like-minded people near you that would love to coordinate a local trail ride or even a weekend road trip to a location close by.

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Another valuable source for locating prospective locations for you to pursue that less-travelled road would be the trusty internet. There are many sites dedicated to the off-roading hobby that can be a wealth of information and knowledge for you to access, some of which even have mobile apps that you can access while on the trail:

www.americantrails.org

www.offroadtrailguide.com

  www.where2wheel.com

5Once you have determined the “where”, “when” and “with who”, you will want to plan what things you will need to take with you. The first rule of thumb for a successful & enjoyable off-roading excursion is one shared with every teenage horror film you have ever seen. Don’t ever go alone!! (and maybe take a flashlight). Seriously, the essentials for your ultimate preparedness on the trail will vary greatly based on the types of off-roading you will be doing. For the beginner who is participating in a nice, easy trail ride, you want to make sure you have a properly inflated spare tire, a functioning jack and maybe a jug of water, just in case. A GPS can be a lifesaver although the uncomfortable total absence of roads on the display can seem alarming at times. Just remember, if it was an easy place to get to, everyone would already have been there and eliminated the reasons to go. It’s always a great idea to have a set of simple hand tools on-hand but the mechanical aptitude of the wheeler would be the determining factor between useful and useless. For that reason, a fully charged cellphone is to be considered crucial as well. Heck, it’s the Swiss army knife of this generation. There are apps to keep you from getting lost and games to entertain you when you do.

For those who drive modified Jeeps or have graduated to more challenging trails, ones that involve scaling rocks or maneuvering through mud, the list of crucial cargo grows accordingly. While the luxury of on-board compressed air is nice, it is certainly not a requirement. A hi-lift jack, a winch, a tire repair kit, a collection of basic recovery gear components comprised of straps, gloves, shackles and digging implements, a stockpile of damage-prone replacement parts like u-joints, axle shafts, drive shafts, ball joints, tie rod ends and the tools necessary to replace them on the trail as well as a hodgepodge of all the critical fluids needed to keep the engine running, the transmission shifting and the brakes stopping are all deemed as precious payload. While this seems like a nightmare checklist of necessary gear, the truth is that your trail kit can be developed and assembled over a long period of time as the experience level of your driving develops. Don’t be the guy who dresses like a big league catcher in the stands based on a slight chance of his fielding a foul ball. Take only what is practical in terms of making repairs on the trail. You may never need any of it but the one time you do, the overall expense will seem minimal in the grand scheme of things. To have it and not need it is the desired objective.

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So…Get out there, find that road less travelled and see where it takes you; always remembering to leave the trail just like you found it. After all, life is too short to just sit at home and Jeeps were meant to be taken off-road. You just might find out that those golf clubs look better in the garage anyway. OlllllllO

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One Man’s Trash is Another Man’s Treasure (Some Assembly Required)

1At the close of World War II, the War Department was stricken with an overwhelming problem – the conundrum of what to do with the untold thousands of military vehicles now that they had outlived their sole purpose. While many of the Willys MB and Ford GPW personnel transport units were merely abandoned in whatever foreign land they happened to be stationed in at the close of the war, many others were loaded onto ships, wheeled onto aircraft carriers and shipped home at great expense; returned stateside to a U.S. populace that had no real need for them and was largely preoccupied with resuming the normality of a post-war lifestyle free of such concerns.

World War II had not been considerate, in any way, to our European allies in France. A long and drawn-out conflict with Nazi Germany had left their nation’s infrastructure in a smoldering shambles and their military in dire need of massive reparation. As part of an unprecedented post-combat surplus sale, France agreed to purchase some 22,000 MB & GPW trucks from the U.S. government. While this deal likely qualified as a Lend/Lease transaction, the condition of the vehicles involved in the sale made it more a cross between a scratch-and-dent sale and an outright scrap liquidation, with only about half of the Jeeps being in usable condition. Jeeps that were damaged to the extent that a new frame was required were given a brand new frame thus removing their original Willys and Ford identifying markings and allowing them to begin life renewed as a Hotchkiss M201.

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The weighty task of converting such mechanical heaps into useable Jeeps began in 1946 and continued steadily for the next decade in a facility on the outskirts of Paris. Any car that was beyond repair was systematically dismantled to harvest any parts for use on other builds, while many of the chassis were upgraded to 12 volt electrical systems. With the extensive build processes being overseen by Hotchkiss, a French automobile and arms manufacturer, they began to develop a fairly thorough knowledge of the vehicles basic systems; leading to Hotchkiss becoming licensed by Willys to manufacture an entirely new Jeep, on a new frame, under the same Hotchkiss M201 badge beginning in the mid-1950’s. While these production models, built under the guise of Willys-Overland France (WOF), were intended for a largely civilian market, they failed to ever find an adequate foothold outside of the military. Nonetheless, they became a thread in the fabric of French post-war culture, affectionately referred to as ‘La Jeep’.

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The new civilian versions of ‘La Jeep’, referred to as the JH-101 from 1954 to 1960 and later as the JH-102 beginning in 1960, were based on the Willys CJ-3B and were subtly different from their Willys MB predecessors. For starters, the electrical systems were upgraded to a 24 volt platform with dual batteries to meet the NATO requirements of the day. Visually, the windshield frame of the production M201 had two wiper arms mounted from the above the windshield and featured a steel loop that straddled the wiper pivots to protect them when the windshield was lowered. The otherwise familiar dash cluster was accentuated by a round speedometer that read in kilometers per hour rather than miles; a feature possibly signifying the very first time in history that anyone was able to say they did 100 in a Jeep. Hotchkiss gradually began to address the Willys shortcomings with changes in their design, some proving to be beneficial while others were arguably steps in the wrong direction. Heavier leaf springs, waterproof ignition systems, updated carburetors and eventually even a diesel fuel engine found their way into the design. While those revisions that proved to be favorable became the new standard for future production, others that were less than advantageous fell by the wayside. Such is the case with the 55 horsepower Indenor diesel engine which, despite being a Peugeot power plant, reportedly had the same acceleration qualities as a garden snail, or ‘escargot’ as the French would refer to them on the menus in their finer restaurants.

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What started out as little more than a collection of old, used-up, hand-me-down Jeeps that were, by many accounts, ready for the landfill ended up serving the nation of France quite well. Many of the later production M102’s were used in military service up until the 1980’s. The decades following World War II were subsequently filled with economic growth and industrial advancements that once again had France positioned to maintain profitability for years to come. And to think, they owed a lot of their success to some old Jeeps. OlllllllO

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Finding the Meaning in Jeeps Seven Slot Grille

1When you come to the realization that we have an unmeasurable amount of information nowadays, right at our fingertips, it’s hard to feel anything short of amazed. The fact that I can drive my Jeep off in some random direction, as if I have a clue where I’m going, until I am hopelessly lost (as I am prone to do); I can pull over to the side of the road and my smartphone will tell me precisely where I am, advise me on how to get back home and tell me where the closest place to get some Kung Pow Chicken might be. It’s enough to baffle those of us old enough to remember having to drive to the library to gather information. With today’s technology so advanced, I’m sure it’s nothing but a simple oversight that, despite the past 50 years, absolutely no technological advancements have been made in the field of school glue; it doesn’t matter how much or how little of it you use, it’s still a sloppy mess the following day. Nor have the fine folks who manufacture it found any way to make it taste good. Go figure…

While doing some Jeep related research on the internet, I found an interesting article that was expounding on the origin of the iconic seven slotted Jeep grille. While I didn’t count the source as possessing any trace of actual credibility, I found it amusing that they claimed, so boldly, that the seven grille slots stood for the seven separate divisions of FCA Inc. – Chrysler, Jeep, Dodge, Ram, Mopar, SRT and Fiat. While the symbolism found in the concept that the seven grille bars represent the seven separate pillars on which the company is built seems honorable, I believe the authentic truth is likely more deeply-rooted in history than just a simple marketing scheme; a scheme that reeks of being little more than an afterthought dreamed up in some stuffy boardroom..

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It’s important to note the fact that the very first Jeeps didn’t even use a seven slot grille. The original war prototypes, as well as the actual early-production model Willys MB’s and Ford GPW’s that followed, used heavy grilles with a multitude of welded steel slats that were visually better-suited for grilling burgers over a campfire. It was not until later in 1942 that Ford Motor Company invoked some of their manufacturing expertise into the development of a lightweight stamped-steel grille assembly bearing nine vertical slots; a grille that, with one glimpse, is undoubtedly the inspiration for every Jeep grille to follow. It’s in the DNA. You can’t deny it…

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It was not until the release of the first widely available civilian Jeep, the 1945 Willys CJ-2A, that the grille was reduced to the prominent seven slot design that it retains today and has become so well-known for. So, why did Willys choose to use seven slots? Obviously, Ford had tooled up to produce the 9 slot fascia so that numerical design option was off the table. Respectable sources lend heavily in support of the notion that the Jeep was the first vehicle to have been deployed to serve on the soil of all seven continents during its tour of duty in the course of World War II. Having served in seven different theaters of war around the globe certainly deserves a high level of acclaim, or maybe a vertical bar for each? Just as a soldier might return home from his or her military service proudly displaying the medals that declare his bravery and accomplishments, the Jeep would return stateside, to the home it left behind, in the form of a civilian vehicle; always defiantly proud of the places it had been and the triumphs it had achieved. It had changed; it had adapted to its new lifestyle and yet it was fundamentally the same. An automotive model of resiliency.

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At this point is where I take a slight personal liberty in my beliefs in that the civilian Jeep grille was reduced by two slats to signify their sacrifice given in World War II. Of all the thousands of Jeeps that were produced in the early 40’s to bolster the war effort, a majority of them essentially gave the automotive equivalent of their “lives” for the cause. They were stockpiled and often liquidated, being sold off for scrap for pennies on the dollar and even pushed off piers, flight decks and jetties into the dark, murky depths of the ocean. One particular dumping ground in the South Western Pacific, known as “Million Dollar Point”, boasts virtual mountains of Jeeps, tanks and various other breeds of heavy equipment, all squandered away to a paupers burial, rather than incur the colossal expense of shipping them home. General George S. Patton may have explained such a blatantly frivolous exit strategy best when he said “Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men”. I firmly adhere to the thought that the world would be a lot cooler place to be if we had more of these old war era Jeeps around to look at, drive & enjoy. Certainly they don’t deserve to be as rare as they have become.

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Due to some lax business practices in the trademark office at Chrysler, AM general was able to acquire a trademark for the seven slot grille design in 1996 and later applied it to their Hummer H1 and H2 vehicles, much to the chagrin of Daimler-Chrysler. While the Hummer nameplate has a celebrated military past all it’s own, it would be hard to place it in the same ranks as our storied Jeep. Just as wearing a labcoat does not make you a doctor and owning a smartphone doesn’t make you…well…smart; having a 7 slot grille does not, in any way, make you a Jeep. In fact, dressing like a soldier and prancing around when you are, indeed, NOT a soldier likely suggests your participation in the cast of some off-Broadway musical. The real Jeeps have no such reason to pretend. OlllllllO

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Never Really Done

1How often do you hear or read where another fellow Jeeper makes the statement that they are finally done with their build? I have heard it a countless number of times and it always makes me chuckle a little bit, partly out of jealousy but mostly because I honestly don’t believe that there is any such state of being ‘Done’, at least not when it comes to a Jeep. Describing a Jeep as being ‘Done’ not only suggests that the vehicle is acceptable to the builder’s standards but that the current assembling of all the parts that make it up is absolutely complete with nothing to spare and nothing else needed- only then is it truly finished.

2Jeeps are purely and wholly mechanical and, as with any mechanical device, are inherently imperfect. One might argue that they are, however, perfectly imperfect. I make this point for the sole reason that, when you are speaking in terms of Jeeps, perfection is not an actual destination but rather a journey; one that will never come to an end because you will never actually arrive. You will always long to explore another trail, discover another road to lead you to yet another spectacular, breathtaking sunset and build another friendship with a foundation based on little more than a shared passion for a vehicle that allows you to go anywhere and do anything. It shouldn’t surprise you that the universe that we live in, by some unwritten law, doesn’t allow perfection but is, thankfully, incapable of limiting our pursuit of it and there is plenty of pleasure to be had in such a pursuit.

If you are going to pursue that remote undiscovered trail or expand the limits of the world you get to enjoy with your eyes, the capabilities of your Jeep will be in a constant state of development. Whether it is suspension and driveline upgrades to improve off-road performance or a set of wheels & tires to turn heads and drop jaws during your travels, there always seems to be something else on the list of things that you crave to do to your Jeep. It’s probably pretty safe to say that income tax refund season has spawned more ‘Before & After’ Jeep pictures than any other day on record. Where else can you spend your hard-earned money that can provide such a large return on investment? Sure, Jeeps hold their resale value exceptionally well but what about the returns that pay back dividends in life-experiences and enjoyment that is beyond compare? Rumor has it that tax refund checks that are designated for Jeep upgrades receive priority processing over returns that are used for Caribbean cruises or plastic surgery….just jot a little ‘OIIIIIIIO’ next to your signature and Uncle Sam will do the rest!

3So, what if you have already built your vehicle to conquer any obstacle and equipped it to navigate any trail…what then? Once we have our Jeeps looking exactly how we envisioned in our minds with the most bullet-proof components that we could muster installed between the front and rear bumpers, can’t we finally say that we are done??? Fortunately, the answer would still be less than positive. Choosing to take the road less travelled comes at a cost. Axle shafts break, tires wear out and those gigantic boulders that rise up to halt our progress will often be less-than-kind to our painted sheet metal. We’re Jeepers and we already know that things are never going to be perfect. We will work our way back, little by little until a little becomes a lot. When it comes to Jeeps, it’s all about the ride anyway. OlllllllO

We’re all about the pursuit of perfection at Omix-ADA/ Rugged Ridge and we have the parts and accessories to make that Jeep in the driveway look like the rig in your dreams. Check us out at www.RuggedRidge.com .  2106b4ca367891a36776fcdb10f2edd9

Making Clever Little Things Out of Odd Bits

When I was growing up and maturing into an adult (you know, the kind that still plays with cars), I found a great deal of enjoyment in a primetime television show that aired in the late 1980’s known as “MacGyver”. It told the ongoing tale of a top agent that worked for a private corporation and, for reasons never really given a reasonable foundation in the shows storyline, he was tasked with travelling the globe righting various injustices that he probably wouldn’t have even known about had he nailed down a regular desk job like the rest of us. Nonetheless, MacGyver, or Angus as he is known by his legions of super fans, was gifted with a superior intellect and a mind that was packed from lobe to lobe with a master’s degree level of mechanical ingenuity. Every episode featured our unlikely hero getting into sticky1 predicaments, only to work his way back out of them with some awesome display of his mastery of science, physics and possibly even dabbling in dark magic – like escaping a prison by freezing the cell door hinge pins with liquid nitrogen that he harvested from an antique camphene lamp and then struck with a fossilized yaks jawbone until they crumbled. Did I mention that MacGyver drove a Jeep? Well, he did. The show was not always believable but it did always manage to leave me with a positive outlook on things; an outlook that is summed up by a simple quote from one of his shows; a quote that is likely the root influence behind his wild success in his oddly imaginary career path – “Any problem can be solved with a little ingenuity” to which I will add ‘and maybe some duct tape’. Did I mention that MacGyver drove a Jeep?

With that same vein of inventive thinking, Jeep owners have adapted and overcome problems for the larger part of a century. When things don’t necessarily go their way, they put on the old thinking cap and come up with a viable solution. An action we might refer to as the “MacGyver Principle”.

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In the throes of battle in World War II was an ideal location to find the “MacGyver Principle” hard at work. When a GI was dealt the misfortune of a flat tire on his trusty MB, when only the lack of a bumper jack could possibly make things worse, he would just transform that handful of smile-happy privates into a make-shift hydraulic lift and he would be back on the road and on his merry way in record time! When things get really hairy and ones well-being is in grave jeopardy, a little bit of ingenuity can go a long way towards helping you keep your head. Like when Axis troops began the practice of running strands of nearly-invisible high strength steel wire across battlefield roadways, about shoulder high, it was obvious that something needed to be done and in quick fashion. The solution devised by inventive Allied soldiers became known affectionately as the “Anti-Decapitation Device”- a straight section of angular steel bar mounted in an upright position off the front bumper; capable of severing any trap wires that it may come in contact with, which likely reduced the number of single car accidents at the same time. Certainly a pair of fine examples of somebody using their head with all the swagger you’d expect from the “MacGyver Principle”.

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With a wartime adversary as cunning and cruel as to try and separate your head from the rest of your body, you can’t underestimate the ever presence of real danger and do everything within your powers to be ready for it. Enter another clear exhibition of the “MacGyver Principle” applied to our devoted Jeep- an extension to the vehicles exhaust system that permitted the injection of a tear gas agent into the exhaust flow, allowing it to be dispersed into the air along the Jeeps path as it travelled hostile territories. While this may have equated to the 1940’s equivalent of putting itching powder in your buddies sock drawer, anything that provided even a slight advantage over the enemy was highly encouraged. I’m pretty certain MacGyver would have licked his finger and held it skyward, checking for a crosswind before deploying the nasty gas. Or maybe he could have fashioned a crude soft top and frame assembly from some nearby tree limbs and discarded military issue duffel bags to help protect the passengers from the nauseous fumes. After all, he was MacGyver.

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   While the number of times that such ingenuity was exercised during the war could very well be immeasurable, the times it has reached the limits of reasonable prudence are more well-defined. Take, for example, the Hafner Rotabuggy. This was the kind of vehicle that MacGyver would have saved for the season finale in a clever scheme to secure the largest primetime audience imaginable! It seemed to be the mechanical equivalent of an accident well-overdue to happen. Concocted by the British Air Ministry as a possible solution to the ongoing dilemma of dropping Jeeps into a war zone, this contraption was based off a standard issue Willys MB that had undergone some devilish laboratory experiment where the tail end of an otherwise airworthy craft was welded to the rear of a car that was accustomed to falling from the sky, slowed only by a parachute and good old wind resistance. Let’s just say that Angus MacGyver would have had a real chore trying to enlist the help of a sexy co-star for this episode, seeing as the prospect of falling from the sky is not as popular as it once was, especially among those with a will to live. To further reinforce the brand of peril involved with flying such a machine, the Rotabuggy required the usual Jeep driver as well as a second passenger to man the “joystick” controller- a job that reportedly required the pilot to engage in a vigorous battle with the controls as they violently shook and battered about in an attempt to defy control and return to its grounded roots. Supposedly the only effective use of the Rotabuggy in battle would be if they could manage to crash the copter, with exacting precision, onto the unsuspecting heads of enemy troops, which seemed unlikely in and of itself. To add insult to what already seems to be fatal injuries, the Rotabuggy was not even capable of taking off on its own, but rather had to be dragged into flight, kicking and screaming the whole way, behind a larger aircraft…not a crowning achievement and, despite having many of the right ingredients, NOT at all the “MacGyver Principle”. It would however make for better viewing than “Dynasty”.

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   I’m confident there is more than enough evidence to support the premise of a MacGyver remake, one where a modern mechanical marvel takes to the open road, in a well-outfitted Jeep of course, to render support by means of his patented “MacGyver Principle”, to those who are not as well-equipped to handle life’s puzzling plights. It would be a refreshing alternative to the usual reality-based programming that pretends to pass as entertainment today and one I would likely try and watch in my abundance of free time. A strong surge in duct tape sales could be just what our economy needs right now anyway. OlllllllO2106b4ca367891a36776fcdb10f2edd9

It Ain’t What They Call You but What You Answer To That Matters

What’s in a name? If you reference William Shakespeare, he would suggest that a name is just a name and that a rose that is called something other than a rose would still smell sweet. While I can see where he was coming from or, more literally, from whence he came; I can’t say that I whole-heartedly agree with him. Start calling roses by some other name, like “fungus” or maybe even “discharge”, for example, and the apprehension in which they are sniffed will no doubt begin having a negative impact on the overall smelling experience. So when Jeep designers decided back in 1970 to name one of their most desirable CJ trim packages the “Renegade”, they could not have imagined the road that laid ahead for the Renegade name, or fathomed the 45 years in which it would run its full course.

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The name Renegade is usually intended to relay a spirit of open rebelliousness, while the actual origins of the word express more of a negative tone- one of acting as a traitor, a dissenter or someone who deserts a cause. It seems as though the CJ was intended to walk a fine line between an agile off-road vehicle and a downright treasonous form of transportation- a line it walked with exacting precision. The original CJ Renegades of the early seventies were well-optioned examples of the Jeep lineup that were treated to attention-grabbing exterior striping packages that refused Renegade owners the ability to blend into a crowd. Response from Jeep buyers was largely positive, causing the Renegade to maintain its reign at the top of the CJ pecking order until the last CJ was produced in 1986, leaving behind a strong demand for the Renegade on the collectors market even today. With seventeen years of success in its rearview mirror, it’s pretty easy to see that the Renegade nameplate was, in large, well-accepted despite its marginal surname.

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By the late 1980’s, much of the automotive culture had changed drastically from the carefree extravagance of the previous decades. Vehicle safety and exhaust emissions were playing the larger roles in design and development. The new Wrangler YJ that was released in 1987 as the successor for the legendary Jeep CJ had already taken a serious design departure from the Jeep status quo, most notably with the YJ’s rectangular headlights and modernized interiors. When AMC/Jeep design staff began entertaining the thought of reintroducing the Renegade after a three year hiatus, it’s not clear if the multi-faceted definition of a renegade had been reiterated to the crew. As yearly sales of the YJ grew in excess of the previous CJ models sales numbers, eager designers began to mock up clay models of plastic body cladding in hopes of reincarnating the renowned Renegade for a new generation of Jeepers. What efforts were expended eventually resulted in what many consider a cross between a Jeep Wrangler and a Ferrari Testarossa- certainly more road-friendly fare than the Jeep was previously accustomed to. The plastic-clad YJ Renegade retained its status of the exclusively-appointed Jeep offering for a total of five production years, from 1990 through 1995, which also marked the end of Wrangler YJ production.

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The Renegade nameplate may have suffered some amount of depreciation through the Wrangler YJ era, causing Jeep to bestow a slew of other badges on their special edition Wrangler TJ models offered from 1997 through 2006. Sahara, Sport, X, Rubicon, Anniversary Editions and even an SE model thrown in for good measure were all present to carry the torch for the esteemed off-roader, but not a Renegade in the bunch. Rumor has it that some Jeep dealers across the country tried to dress up new TJ Sport models with Renegade decals in an effort to help bolster sales. I can only imagine that the Renegade Package listed on the add-on invoice was the first thing to be dissected and appropriately disposed of during price negotiations along with the ever-present undercoating and Dealer Prep fees. Had the Renegade truly run its course?

4While 2008 was a year tarnished with the financial frolicking of both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and the daily distractions of a generally failing economy, the design forces at Chrysler/Jeep were hard at work in an asserted effort to resurrect the Renegade name. Unveiled at 2008 Detroit Auto Show, the new Jeep Renegade was, by all accounts, far from being a rule-keeper. Pairing a hybrid duo of electric motors to drive front and rear differentials independently, the concept Renegade even turned its back on the conventional by incorporating a Bluetec diesel engine to the mix; tasked with both the recharging of the batteries and to extend the driving range to an impressive 400 miles, a relatively sizable feat for the time. This Renegade was designed to be a true open-air driving experience, complete with the guts and gusto of locking differentials and low gearing to please the avid off-road fanatic while making remarkable achievements in the manufacturing practices in the process. The Renegade was to be constructed largely of environmentally responsible materials, including parts that are easily recyclable at the end of the vehicles lifespan and an exterior that is molded in color, eliminating the painting process and its impacts on the environment. Could it be that the Renegade had finally found its own means of redefining the name it was given or was this Renegade destined to desert us once again?

As many concepts do, the promise of a 2008 Renegade returned to the design studio where it was created, to live out the rest of its days in some dark forsaken archive, likely to never be seen again. In what may be its final act of rebellion, the Jeep Renegade returned to our collective realities in 2015 in the form of a sub-compact crossover SUV built on the Fiat Panda platform. While this new installment in the Jeep Renegade chronicles seems to further establish dissent in the hearts and minds of the Jeep faithful, the car in and of itself, is nothing to be ashamed of when looked at in the scope of its segment; contending with the likes of the Honda HR-V, Subaru Crosstrek and Nissan Juke, and doing so in enviable fashion. I will even go so far as to say that the new Renegade is a more than worthy successor to the easily forgotten Jeep Liberty. I can’t even find ample energy to hold a grudge against Jeep using the ‘Renegade’ name. After all, the name Renegade has earned somewhat of an inherent double connotation, not to mention it sounds so much better than the Jeep Iscariot. OlllllllO

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Bring Me Your Poor, Huddled Masses…$1,000 o.b.o.

00464fbc834607a6049faf1a57c96395Standing tall above the murky depths of New York Harbor is a universal symbol of hope and freedom that is recognized the world round, the likes only known by Coca-Cola and a pair of golden arches. We lovingly call her ‘Lady Liberty’- our Statue of Liberty. Etched on a plaque at her feet are the words of an otherwise totally obscure poem ‘New Colossus’ that have been respoken, at least in portion, countless thousands of times since it was unveiled in the late 1800’s. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”; the words even going on to single out the “wretched refuse” as being at the top of the want-list of desirables. While these simple words have grown to hold immeasurable importance in the history of our great country, I must admit that I have knowingly, and possibly even willingly, been given to a gross misinterpretation of them.

 

While the origin of this uplifting sonnet is referring solely to those individuals who might journey to our country in search of freedom, opportunity and the idea that your own pursuit of happiness is only limited by yourself. I have taken those words and twisted them, if only in my mind, to mean something so much different. I’ll call it my “Craigslist Mantra”.  If you’re not familiar with Craigslist, then you are not likely on anything that resembles the internet and you’re reading this blog would be purely coincidental, and if so, Welcome Aboard!

My affliction began about 2 years ago while searching the internet classifieds for a used car for my newly licensed son – a diamond in the rough, if you will (the car that I was in search of, not my son). I knew he would need something reliable, somewhat ‘sporty’ but not likely to exhaust my untold fortunes when it was time to pay for car insurance. We looked at many, drove several and ended up finding a real gem. While my son was just glad to have the whole thing behind him, I rather savored the experience. Soon I was justifying the need for a “backup” car as a means of supporting my addiction, for those times when my lifted Jeep was recovering from some off-road calamity or the weather was less-than-conducive to open air driving.

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I innocently established a few guidelines to help direct and focus my search. First, it needed to be bought for $1000, or less (a criteria that quickly relegates your search into something that resembles a salvage yard scavenger hunt). Secondly, per my better half, it should not be an obvious project going into the purchase; in other words, it needed to be self-contained and not stored in crates and boxes in more than one location. Third, it should have both a roof and doors (this is something that needs no mention with normal people, a group from which I am excluded). Lastly, and not necessarily a requirement, it needed to be a Jeep.

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Enter the tired, huddled masses! My search began as a daily ritualistic process of searching Craigslist in a geographic area centered around my home that progressively expands outward as my own level of desperation increases. Sure, there are some really horrid piles of scrap out there that could be had for a grand, but I was bound and determined to do better. Suddenly the quest for the holy grail of Jeeps was as much a part of my daily routine as 30 ounces of hot high-test coffee and checking emails. The more I looked, the more I slowly and surely surrendered to the fact that such a Jeep may not actually exist and, as I came to terms with this fact, my resolve to find such a Jeep deepened.  There is a well-known proposition in regards to making such a universally negative assumption. To say something doesn’t exist simply because you haven’t seen it is near-sighted. You should never make such a statement until you have literally looked everywhere and I had not so much as looked outside my state. How undedicated to the cause could I be?

When evaluating poor, huddled masses, it’s vital that you don’t only look skin deep, as a wiser older person may have once told you. Sure, that’s where the beauty lies but we’re looking for something with more substance than beauty. Then, suddenly on a hot sunny Sunday afternoon…there it was! I could tell by the way my wife gazed at me while we were test-driving it, that this was the one! She hadn’t looked at me with such obvious distrust since I told her that my engine swap shouldn’t take more than a weekend, two tops. The newfound fruits of my search were not easy on the eyes. There were many layers of dirt, mold and mildew or patina (whichever you prefer), a headliner that had been sacrificed to the car gods in a ritualistic slaying years earlier and a case of death wobble the likes I had only ever read about; one that the seller was leery to disclose to me for fear of nixing the deal. Nine hundred and sixty clams later and I was tooling home at the pace of 45.5 miles an hour, a tick off from the speed at which all manners of hell breaks loose in the decrepit ZJ’s front steering. But underneath that crusty exterior was a highly-optioned luxury SUV that had come on hard times and just needed somebody to believe in it once again; someone to give it one more chance at having purpose. Sure, it had some miles on it and it was far from perfect but aren’t we all?

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Funny thing is, my search for the thousand dollar heap is all over but yet I still search, almost daily, for another. Just like the Statue of Liberty didn’t take a pry bar to the plaque the first time an immigrant found their way to our golden shores. No…there’s always room for one more. Just ask my wife. OlllllllO

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Driverless Cars – What a Waste of Drivers

1I can remember clearly, as a 14 year old teenage boy, dreaming of the day I would finally get my driver’s license and my first set of wheels. Even as a teen, I was a firm believer in the value of working hard towards achieving your dreams; so I set out to buy my first car well before the day I was legal to drive it with money I earned on many a hot summer day welded to the push handle of a Murray self-propelled mower. Gaining the ability to drive meant so much more to me than just one human’s ability to get around oneself. It was a tangible symbol of a newfound freedom and, looking back, a strong part of your personal identity. Those memories are still extremely strong and anchored in who I am today; so much that whenever I’m not feeling like all is right with the world, I can climb behind the wheel of the old Jeep; somehow the whir of the tires and cool breezes help everything find its proper place in my perspective. I guess that’s why I don’t understand why kids today don’t long for the same independence as we once did, waiting till they are 17 and even 18 before they are forced, often against their own will, to get their license. Heck, even a large number of adults want to pawn the driving duties off to a box full of microprocessors, without so much as a second thought.

It seems as though the future forecast involves technology doing most of our dirty work for us; a fact that I am, admittedly, not prepared for. Primarily because driving is not work at all to me, but rather something I truly enjoy. I am quite positive that when the future was projected to us years ago on television shows like The Jetsons2, it was NOT like that. Sure, George Jetson and his family were flying around Orbit City in their little space car, but he was always grasping controls. It may have been a steering wheel or a rod or some joystick contraption, but he was always at the controls and driving; in control of his own destiny and destination. If the cartoonists had made him face rearward with a 4-inch handheld screen on the end of his nose, I’m pretty sure viewership would have plummeted. Nobody in the viewing audience would have even pretended to be entertained by the prospect of not being able to drive anymore. We will gladly take Rosie the Robot to see to our household chores but please keep your hands off of our cars. I want that future The Jetsons were able to foresee and not the one we currently have coming to us!

As a means of preparing myself mentally for what the future likely holds, I decided to read what the NHTSA had to say about our less than bright future of driverless cars. Since they are departmentally responsible for keeping our highways as safe as humanly possible, it would seem to me that they would be less-than-thrilled with a highway system jammed up with cars not being operated by humans. This was, however, not the case at all. They seem to be fairly excited about the possibilities that our autonomous future holds in terms of overall safety- a future where a person can potentially be carjacked by their own vehicle because they failed to update their software in a timely fashion. Nonetheless, as government agencies are known to do, they have established a standardized table in which to gauge the autonomy of a vehicle, with SAE Level 0 being where a human driver performs any & all tasks related to driving, up to SAE Level 5 where the automated system performs all driving tasks in all conditions with no interaction from the driver. I’m not ashamed to say that I am extremely uncomfortable with any of these designated levels higher than Level 0. I develop an uneasy feeling even at a Level 1, where the vehicle would incorporate common features like lane-assist and cruise control systems which, in my opinion, largely remove the human element from the driving experience. I was equipped from the factory, although it was quite a few decades ago, with the ability to perform many of the complex processes involved with driving a car and I am fully committed to use my eyes, turn my head and commandeer any of my other senses, if the need were to arise. There’s really no need to develop any gizmos to do the same.

3Many will argue that having a computer present to help a driver determine his surroundings and provide vastly more accurate data will result in better driver decision-making and potentially less accidents. While I do acknowledge that there is surely some credibility to such a claim, I would argue in response that I cherish my safety best when it is in my sole power to preserve it. I am just unable to come to terms with the potential that my final moments on earth are spent being completely blind-sided by a tiny blue spinning donut of death on my autonomous cars user display letting me know I need to hastily adjourn with my ongoing game of Tetris and get back to the driver’s seat for some sudden evasive maneuvers. Obviously, my slight hesitation in terminating a game where I had managed to compile such an impressive score would be at the root of my eventual undoing. I am all but certain the accident report would detail how all the autonomous systems show to be in perfect operating order and the reason for the accident declared to be “Lack of Appropriate Driver Intervention”, an allegation fully supported by the on-board digital voice recorder that would shamelessly broadcast to my loved ones my final words, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”- And then silence.

I guess, in time, I will have to become a little more comfortable with the prospect of cars that drive themselves, with us ‘superior beings’ being reduced to nothing more than mere pieces of cargo; but then again, I kind of doubt it. It just won’t be as easy a transition as we’ve had in the past; like when the TV remote controls went from making that loud clicking noise to shooting an invisible infrared beam across your living room and eventually making no noise at all when you change the channels. We finally figured out that the infrared beam wouldn’t catch the curtains on fire and life returned to something that resembled normal. Those were relatively easy transitions in comparison but still very monumental in terms of how we watch television. In the meantime, I think I will get back to dreaming every night of the day when I can once again jump in my Jeep and hit the road any time the mood strikes me with no assistance from anyone. Working towards that end, is anyone interested in a used GPS? OlllllllO42106b4ca367891a36776fcdb10f2edd9